"The 10 Women You'll Be Before You're 35"

by Alison James

It's so true how everyday and every experience transforms your thoughts and ideas into the kind of person you want to be.  Like watching a movie with Angelina Jolie might make you want to be a bad ass one day, or maybe after dating a country boy you all of a sudden want to be the next Faith Hill.   I recently read "The 10 Women You'll Be Before You're 35" by Alison James, and I found myself reflecting on many of her mentioned experiences as well as nervously anticipating the ones I couldn't relate to yet.

Although, it was a little fluffy and extreme at times James outlines the 10 different phases a woman must go through in order to achieve the confidence and moxie every girl is envious of in those women who just seem to "have it all."

In phases ranging from the New Graduate to the True You, James lays out the foundation of experience that every girl should and will go through. I found myself laughing through the chapter about the "Party Girl" phase as I could vividly remember wanting and having to go out EVERY night! What a difference now, now I look forward to Friday nights so I can happily lay on the couch and watch a movie with my blanket LoL!

But, what I could totally relate to in this present moment is the  Dollarless Diva stage and the Crisis Chick.  The dollarless diva is a girl who, as the title pretty much sums up, is dollarless.  With the funds running low, the dollarless diva tends to obsess over all kinds of money-making ideas (drug dealing anyone? lol)  And, the crisis chick a.k.a. the QUEEN of confusion... yeah... that pretty much sums me up in a nutshell right about now. But, according to James both phases are there to be conducive in preparing yourself for the next world of opportunity that awaits.  James, does a great job in telling you that you don't HAVE to get married just because it seems like your entire graduating class did and you don't HAVE to keep your job if you hate it.  The beauty of living is that we always have CHOICES and our way of thinking has more to do with what opportunities come our way, than what doesn't.

Either way, "The 10 Women You'll Be Before You're 35" is a fast, easy and entertaining read.  Especially if you happen to find yourself in a "Quarterlife Crisis."

GOOD therapy

Not too long ago, a group of girlfriends and I decided to do a girls night, where the dress code was sweatpants or leggings and the beverage of choice was champagne. After sitting around and talking about non sense, all of a sudden the conversation shifted from which Kardashian chick was pregnant to where am I going to be in 5 years?! (A little bit of a drastic shift lol) Thoughts like "I didn't go to school for 5 years to be a bartender," "I feel like I always had a plan but, now I feel like I have no idea where to start," or how about "I have a job with a great company, doing what I went to school to do but, I don't feel satisfied." It was like all of the thoughts that have been streaming through my mind the past 10 months turned into audible messages in someone else's voice. That's when my good friend Natasha, told us about the "Quarterlife Crisis."

It's such an interesting article and I wanted to share it with all of you. The gist of it is that todays twenty-something-year-old's have way too many options and much more time on their hands than previous generations. With the average age of newly weds increasing, more people are waiting before they commit to marriage and children, therefore putting careers and themselves ahead of family planning.

I could totally relate to this article! And I'm sure many of you can too! Having children is something, if not the only thing, I am SURE about having at some point in my life. But, it is still something that gives me anxiety when I think about having children NOW! There are still so many things I want to do and places I want to go, and at some point I want to be able to stay at home and raise my children, but without having to depend solely on my spouse. So, how do you create that balance? As the article reads...

Women are roundly considered to be in biologically ideal form for baby-making in their twenties and early thirties, which are also prime fun-having and career-building years. For women who want all of the things promised by (theoretically) equal education, work and sex lives, the conflict of desires can be catastrophic.

Eventhough, I am still trying to figure out the perfect balancing act I can't tell you what GOOD therapy it was to sit around with your closest friends and talk about all the thoughts circling your mind.